Torn
by ChiisanaAnisa
Summary: When Inuyasha hurts Kagome physically, her thinking brings her to one request she would wish she has never made... but at least she'll find out how does it feels to be loved by Inuyasha... By being Kikyou. Will she leave the past as it was? ON HOLD
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **No own here. Look for Rumiko-sama, maybe she'll say yes.

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**"Torn"**

**By Chiisana Anisa**

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They stopped for the night after she begged Inuyasha for half an hour to do so. Finally he agreed and left mumbling incoherent words to his chin, before only barking at her to meet him later in the clearing not so far away from their camping space.

When the others fell asleep, she raised from her sleeping bag and quietly sneaked away from the camp. It didn't take her long to find him or the clearing. So to say - five minutes of walking. He was sitting with his back to her when she approached, his silver hair flowing on the fresh wind she could almost feel in her bones. His ears twitched and she knew he heard her coming from a mile away. He always did. She also knew something was bound to happen.

He stood up and turned to face her. But she didn't do a thing, only looked at him with those big brown eyes.

"Why did you want me to come here Inuyasha?"

He didn't answer. Instead he stepped closer, a grin appearing on his face. She didn't like the way that grin looked. Almost evil.

"I want to know wench, when were you intent on telling me that you were to stay one whole month in your time after we get back to Kaede's?" he spat out, growling dangerously.

She shook from his tone, her mind racing to the moment in the hot springs when she said that to Sango earlier. "Inuyasha, you know I'd have told you anyway. I always tell you, don't I?"

"No you don't." She looked strangely at him. "And don't give me that look. Do I really need to refresh your memory?"

She shook her head. "I know I don't always tell you, but you give me no choice. Why can't you understand that I need to go back every once in a while? There is my family Inuyasha. I want to see them. I need to see them." she answered, her tone of voice filled with sadness. Just how many times did they fight over this? Every time they fight before she leaves and when she comes back they act as if nothing happened.

Inuyasha tumbled over the words in his head. He knew she was right, but it nerved him endlessly that she didn't trust him enough to come and ask. If she only did that... she doesn't even know he would just let her go. Willingly. But this way - he gets so easily rifled up over it and they fight. Every. Goddamned. Time.

"Don't sell me that shit. I know you have a family there. But a whole fucking month?!"

Kagome couldn't really believe that he was so angry. Why couldn't he just understand? "Look Inuyasha, you know very well I could just say 'sit' and go. Like every time I do. Why can't we agree on this just once?" she pleaded.

He puffed, crossing his arms. "Because you never ask me. You always run away." A picture of her doing just that reflected itself in his mind. He could feel a growl raising up his throat. "I could say yes to one week, but I repeat - _**ONE fucking month?!!"**_

By now, Kagome could feel anger stirring up in her body. Here we go again... _"For Christ's sake Inuyasha! I will go! I don't care what you say! I want to see my family, I need to pick up with school, I want to see my friends! I want to take some time for myself. To be just me, not here, not haunting down the Shards, not arguing with you every single second of the day!!"_

His ears pressed down his scull when her tone raised high enough to hurt. She was shaking, her fists tightly curled up in balls beside her and her cheeks red from yelling. But her words hurt the most. She wanted to get away from him. But he be damned if he should show that bothered him at all.

He stepped even closer to her, their noses on the verge of colliding. "Listen to me bitch! You won't go anywhere if I say so! And I don't fucking plan on letting you go for a month!"

"I don't care Inuyasha! I will go!" She turned around to go, but he was quicker than her. He leapt in front of her, crossing her path and grabbed her shoulder. Tight.

"YOU WILL STAY!" he shouted. She winced at his words and at the feel of his claws slowly piercing her skin.

Her eyes slowly teared up. Noticing that and what his hand was doing he moved it away, bringing it higher up to her cheek. But he didn't touch her although he wanted to. He hated to see her cry no matter what the occasion. Still anger ruled his mind.

"You won't go anywhere unless I say so. I don't care if you sit me so that I can't walk, you will not go." One lone tear trickled down, missing his hand by an inch.

"Why do you have to act like such a jerk all the time...?" she mumbled softly. He frowned, his hand still poised in the air. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "I **WILL** go. You can't stop me." She sounded so determined.

"Fuck Kagome! You will listen to me, not the other way round!!" he barked. Now, his mind was so angered, and he felt entirely pissed off at her. But she wouldn't back down at this. He knew her. _**"I repeat for the last time, you WILL stay!"**_

Kagome took one big breath of air before blowing up at him. _**"NO I WON'T!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!"**_

He had enough. He gripped her hair in a knot between his claws and drew her close to his face. He didn't yell. No, he whispered in a low tone that sent shrills down her spine. _"Don't __tempt me girl. _If I say you stay, then help me Kami if you don't. And no fighting. I _really_ don't want to hurt you wench right now, but you know how to push all the wrong buttons..."

His grip became tighter, it hurt her to move her head at all. Suddenly a thought flashed. Looking at Inuyasha with wide eyes she realized something. She realized she didn't know him as half as she thought she did. This Inuyasha, holding her almost viciously, this Inuyasha so angered up... She wasn't afraid of him. But she just didn't knew him.

Tears once again welled up, now coming down one after the other. His hand loosened a bit, but didn't let go. The look in her eyes scared him a little. She looked like a dear in the hands of its hunter. He couldn't smell fear, but something seemed so wrong with this picture. He couldn't figure why it came to this, but it did. Somehow, he always knew it would.

"Kagome... I can't let you go for so long. I don't even have to mention the search to you, do I? Is your trip so much important that this?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit unsure.

One blink was all it took for that odd look in her eyes to disappear. Now, there was fire in her eyes. And soon her anger matched his. "You know what Inuyasha?" she started, and his hand let go of her hair.

"You can go to Hell with your Shard search. You, Naraku, Kikyo... _everyone!_ You can't order me around, and I don't care what you say. You don't have the slightest idea how I feel. I live in two times, two completely different worlds. Sometimes I even wonder why do I do it? Probably because I'm feel guilty and from the kindness of my heart..."

Inuyasha growled again. She was starting to sound like Kikyo. Her tone dull, emotionless at the beginning but then turning into passioned one, only with traces of hatred.

She didn't mind on his growling. Honestly she had it enough. Once it had to come out, why not now? They are already fighting aren't they?

"I really had it enough. I **will** go home. I say it for the last time. I won't give up on it even if you decide to..." she didn't get to finish that.

Inuyasha's hand flew to her hair again "Listen to me, _wench_..." but this time he wasn't mindful on his claws. Only a second later three red traces appeared on her neck, blood slowly coming to surface and going down her white skin. His eyes reflected a look of horror upon seeing what he has done. Even more so, when she stopped talking altogether he drew away his hand rapidly, his entire being shaking from head to toes.

He could smell her blood and it made him sick. And the fact he is to blame for drawing it... he felt disgusted with himself. But surprisingly there was no remorse of what has been done. That maybe scared him the most. No remorse... and he could hear a voice in his head saying it was about time. Time to show her that he wasn't her toy...

Kagome on the other hand could feel the pain spreading through the cut area. Her tears stopped coming, her mind still too shocked to register what happened. But reality hit her when she saw Inuyasha's claws covered in her own blood. And only to think he swore to protect her. From everything... but as it seems he didn't include himself. She whispered her primer thoughts, her eyes dully staring at him.

"I don't even know you anymore... I never did..."

Inuyasha raised his head to look at her, after hearing her speak so brokenly. Somehow she seemed tainted in his eyes now. Strange pride that he did that found it's way into his mind. He smirked not actually aware he was doing it.

"Damn right you didn't. And__. . . _**you will stay**_."

Those were his final words before he leapt up in the tree and disappeared leaving Kagome to stand there. But her feet soon gave out under her and she collapsed on the moist grass, sobs rocking her body. Her hand went up to touch the wound and she flinched when it did. Pain grew even bigger, but this time it was emotional.

She didn't understand how this could happen... Where did the Inuyasha she thought she knew go? When did this Inuyasha appear...?

Most importantly - will she be able to stay around him?

She didn't have the answers to that particular questions yet, but she would soon find out. One thing was for sure. Everything changed now... Tomorrow is going to be a sad day.

She didn't knew... But tomorrow she would act like a broken porcelain doll and Inuyasha would be angry at her most of the day... but underneath it all... angry at himself...

Kagome was tired. A long day, full of walking was now finally behind them, but the side-affects were showing. Miroku sat down on the hard ground in front of Kaede's hut, not even bothering to go in, Sango following his example only sitting on the bolder next to him. Shippo was curled up in her arms, and Inuyasha, although seemingly all right was tired. She could see by the twitching of his ears. Sometimes when she had enough time to watch him, she did and only then would she notice all this little things about his posture.

Yes, she was one hundred percent sure that he was to sleep tonight, just like everybody else in the group. She was almost sure that any moment now he was bound to yell for food...

"Oi, Kagome shouldn't you wench be preparing food?" there he goes...

"I will Inuyasha, I will."

She sighed noticing the sad look Sango was sending her way, also picking up her boomerang to help her. Inuyasha noticed it right away and leapt from the roof right in front of her stopping her. Sango raised one eyebrow looking suspiciously at him.

"What now Inuyasha?"

The hanyou grunted, a scowl entering his face. "I think I said Kagome to go and make something to eat, not you too."

Sango only gripped her weapon tighter. "So what? I have every right to help her, don't I?"

An angry growl was heard rising from Inuyasha's throat. He gripped the bald of his sword while the fire in his eyes grew looking at Sango. "Look now wench, I said Kagome. And when I said that I meant her alone. She is to go and fix us dinner. If you don't like it I don't give a shit about it. Get it?"

Sango gulped and nodded her head numbly, seeing the tearing up Kagome in the background. She was sorry she wasn't able to do anything more, but she knew very well that she didn't want a fight with Inuyasha.

The hanyou puffed and turned around, anger still surrounding his form like a tornado. She wondered what made him so put on Kagome. But at the same time she asked herself why didn't Kagome say the word and ended it?

Looking back at Kagome she found her already crouched down in front of the fire, stirring up the water for cooking. Setting her eyes firmly on the girl she looked and searched. At first there was nothing wrong but then again... Kagome looked as if she was dominated by someone. Her motions weren't fluid as usual, more like puppet's and so slow. Her face held no real expression, not even the sad one it would usually get when fighting with Inyuasha. She looked painfully like... like...

Kikyo.

And that bothered Sango more than anything else. When Kagome raised her hand to put a runaway lock behind her ear Sango watched not really seeing. The hand moved away and only then could Sango see three long, red made cuts across her right side of the neck, disappearing into her shirt. Sango gasped and turned around instantly to look at Inuyasha.

He was perched up in a tree and although the dark has fallen not so long ago she could see him sitting on the third branch above the ground. His eyes predatory and set on every little move Kagome made. He smirked, before his eyes flashed to Sango and his quirked up lip showed one long fang.

Sango stiffened and sat shakily down turning her eyes back to Kagome. Thousands of questions ran through her mind. Why did the two behave as they did? What happened...? She hoped to find out soon, because this was one turnabout she didn't like. At all.

Meanwhile, Kagome sat there, her hand making circles in the water with the wooden spoon, her mind groggy. Inyuasha really did it this time, but she knew better than to go against him. He was so mad through the day, mostly at her. Even for the stupidest reasons he would blow up and it was always her to blame. Sadly she sighed, her hand softly touching the scar. Last night constantly went through her head, over and over again.

Her neck hurts even now, specially since she can sense Inuyasha's eyes on her. The scars seemed to prick every time he spoke to her, reminding her not to argue. She spent the most of the day cursing herself. She didn't say 'sit' at all. She could have and now this wouldn't be happening.

She almost did say it when Inuyasha snapped at Sango moments ago, but she wasn't sure if that would fuel him further on her sake. And she really didn't want a repeat of last night. Still those questions floated around through the corners of her mind and slowly she spun around.

Amber eyes in the middle of the dark awaited her look. She found herself perplexed at how much primal Inuyasha looked in that precise moment. Once again, she found that she didn't know this Inuyasha. To her, it seemed as if someone replaced him. Was this really the same hanyou she thought she had come to known and love?

Beside everything else, her heart was broken too. Because when you once believed that the man you love would never harm you... **did**... why wouldn't your heart break? She did try to tell herself it was an accident, that he didn't mean it. But that rigorous tone in which he had spoken after kept proving her different.

And the next morning when he yelled at her, she was so startled by her fear of him that she didn't even dare to sit him. And so it went... Now, looking at him from distance she couldn't help but ask herself... if he could hurt her even unintentionally.. why was she so set on believing that...

that...

..._he didn't really hurt Kikyo that day...?

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The end of Chapter One

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_An: Ok. I think that went well. The games are only beginning my dear readers. And I can guarantee that Inuyasha is going to do much worse than this. To Kagome? I won't tell. And expect a lot of angst, because I enjoy writing it._

_When the story gets on rolling I will ask you one thing. But not right now. So, please if you feel like it - leave a review to show me if this is worth continuing. Thanks for R&R!!_

_Chiisana Anisa_


	2. Crying game

**Disclaimer: **Still no. And big no, no for Natalie Imbruglia's song "Torn".

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**AN: READ THIS PLEASE!!**

_First thing first - this thing is all planned out, written on the paper in little notes I just have to follow. It will have 14 chapters, together with the prologue and an epilogue, and with this chapter which is rather short but it brings out the majority of the plot, and we could call it a filler chapter. I'm actually looking forward to writing this, because I saw a plot similar to mine more than one time but it was never brought to an end. Hopefully I'll have this finished by the end of the summer, but don't hold me to my word._

_Second thing_ _is that I've messed up two completely different stories. The titles and summaries. Hence to why the title is changed and the summary as well. And no I didn't steel this from anyone. !_

_Enjoy with the warning on angst... I love writing it!

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**"Torn"**

**By Chiisana Anisa

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**"Crying game"**

Fear.

It was a factor well known in my life for the past few days. I woke up with it and went asleep with it. And it didn't help that one person that caused it was always by my side. I remember the days when I could smile without pressures, or angry looks afterwards, or when I didn't have to hide my frown or disagreeing with something. But nowadays my face always wore the same expression. The one mask I never ever wanted to wear.

Total indifference.

After we ate dinner Inuyasha's nose perked up, his ears likewise and before I could blink he got up and left the camp fire in a trail of dust. Only one thing made him act like this and I knew where he has gone of to. To see Her.

I felt disgusted with myself and wanted to run away, to hide in the secureness of my home and cry my eyes out, but upon remembering his threat my head was left spinning so fast I thought I was on the verge of fainting. As did Sango and Miroku too. They could see me like this only when he was away. And it was now.

Sango ran to me, catching me under my arms, practically screaming my name into my ear. "Are you all right?!"

I smiled weakly looking up to her, but black dots still dancing in front of my eyes. "Yes, I'm fine. I just got dizzy..." And I felt dizzy too, not that I was completely lying to her. The reason about it would although remain a lie.

Her temper flared. "That's it! I'm sending you home no matter what Inuyasha says, and he can kill me for it but I'm not letting him kill you like this instead!" Ah, she knew... no point in lying then.

I could see and sense she was really angry, her eyes narrowed to the point where you couldn't really see the color of her pupils and her face contorted with anger. "Sango, no. I'm fine." I had to say something even if it sounded harsh. What else was I supposed to do?

And then, that familiar sense of someone intruding my soul came up my spine and down my front, settling over the area of my heart and I instantly knew that my guess was true. And it hurt to know he went back to her, even after all the time he spent with me. After all we've been through.. it still hurts like Hell, every time a bit more than the previous.

When he came back, of course he acted like nothing happened and it angered me more. His careless posture towards us and me in general. I know everyone has a right to his own private life, but this is one really special, if not weird situation. When your private life it trying to kill everyone near you and even you... That didn't sound like a good thing to me, from the start.

But Inuyasha, as if sensing my thoughts quickly landed in front of me with one gracious leap. Kami, I still think of him as gracious... I thought while my hand flew up to the wounds on my neck. His eyes followed my movements and before he walked in Kaede's hut he flashed a smirk in my way.

Once again, the thoughts from before dinner came to my mind and I only needed them to remind me that I don't know Inuyasha so well. I would have go on with my musings, but his bark from inside made me shiver all over.

"Kagome! Get inside and get some sleep, we are leaving tomorrow early."

I didn't budge from the place I was standing. I presumed Kikyou told him something about the Shikon shards. I gazed at the moon and tried to count how many nights he had before his changing, but then I could feel his eyes set on me and so very slowly I turned around to find him standing at the entrance. The look in his eyes promised a lots of things to me if I didn't move inside at once.

I looked at him with no traces of fear whatsoever and he seemed to be surprised. I could swear I saw a small smile pass his features, but I could have been wrong. Nonetheless I walked to him and when he moved aside I flinched for some reason expecting him to harm me, to hurt me again. He didn't say anything, what was even worse he laughed at me before he disappeared into the night.

Sango's eyes followed me through the hut before I sat down and looked at her and Miroku. I couldn't help but notice how close they sat to each other, and my mind recalled that they were sort of promised to each other now. Sheer happiness filled my heart for them, and I was glad that someone got to be happy if it wasn't me. It took me a second before I figured out that Miroku asked me something.

"All you all right Lady Kagome?"

He is always so respectful to me, calling me lady or miko or priestess. He can make me laugh more than two times in a minute and he is a good friend. A good person to have around, someone to lean on once in a while. After this quest I will miss him and my almost sister, Sango.

She felt like a sister to me because I looked at her in that way. I know what she has gone through in her life, and it wasn't easy. I know how many nights I found her crying where she slept and sometimes we would even cry together, me holding her and she holding me like a safety rope, crying for totally different reasons. I loved her like my best friend but much more like a sister I never got to have.

"Yes, I'm all right Miroku, don' fuzz so much about me." Was my answer to his polite question.

Sango took on and I got a feeling they planned this out. "Kagome-chan, you can't really insist on being well. I can see how much it pains you... Inuyasha's behavior."

Straight to the point she went. Well she never was the one to circle around things. I bent my head down as I admitted to myself that they had the right to know. "Yes, it pains me Sango-chan. And I really don't know what brought this change in him. I would like to, though."

"Lady Kagome, we don't know either. If I'm right... those traces on your neck..." He tried to finish but I refused to give him a chance.

"Miroku, don't go there. You can see it, and I know you're clever, so don't make yourself stupid asking those kind of questions. Further more, it is something between me and Inuyasha." I sounded cold and I knew it. Gray shadow passed over Miroku's face, and I could sense he felt somewhat insulted by my remarks but he wouldn't pry anymore. Averting my eyes to the corner where my sleeping bag was I felt at ease that Shippou was already asleep. He really didn't need to hear all of this.

Miroku may have been convinced, but Sango was not. "Kagome. If I was on your place... I wouldn't let it go so easily. And you haven't 'sat' him all day. What is going on? I can see the worry on your face every time he comes close to you."

I sighed and put the lost locks of my hair that fell out back into their place. Now the refusal number two. "Sango, I know you mean me well but please let it go. I really don't want to repeat everything I said to Miroku to you as well. Ok?"

Her eyes reflected something wounded and I felt sorry for acting so hard on them both. I didn't have a perfectly logical explanation as to why I didn't want them to know what transpired between me and Inuyasha. I just didn't.

"Very well, Kagome. I won't ask anymore, but you know you can come to me for whatever you need..."

"Thanks for the offer Sango, but I don't need anyone's help right now." And in my mind I thought there was actually no-one here to help me even if they tried. Sango raised up and went to her sleeping place, turning her back on me, Miroku following her example. They were disappointed, but I couldn't help to make it go away.

Settling down in my sleeping bag with Shippou beside me I felt warm, but my soul and my heart still felt abandoned and cold. I wondered what made Inuyasha change so rapidly from the point of caring to the point where he would go that far and hurt me. It didn't matter that he hurt me physically, because my emotions were more damaged than ever. Since I started questioning myself how all of this happened, changed in one day I couldn't find a way to trust him again.

Then in a soft whisper I could hear my two companions talking. I stopped thinking and focused to hear.

"Houshi, don't you think it would be the time for Kagome to learn that Inuyasha has a darker side to his posing?"

"I don't know. Inuyasha seemed strange in this past days, not himself. The only constant thing that remained was when he went of to chase for Kikyou's call."

That's where I stopped listening. Was Kikyou the reason for his change? Again Kikyou troubled my thoughts and I had to suppress the urge to laugh bitterly. For some many nights now I went to sleep thinking about her and me, and Inuyasha of course. Sometimes I would feel frightened, scared of what the next day would bring. The difference today was that Inuyasha was always on my mind since that evening. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and now I came to some conclusion as well.

I'm almost positive he didn't hurt her on their meeting... But I'm not positive he didn't in the past, my mind still hasn't decided on that particular matter. I wished I could go further back into the past and see for my eyes what really happened between Inuyasha and Kikyou. I closed my eyes seeking rest but it didn't came as fast as I wanted it to come.

All this thinking brought the tears to my eyes, my heart aching from the pain it felt. A crazy thought entered my brain... Is this how betrayal felt? Did it bring this much pain to Kikyou that day..? I know I love Inuyasha but if he continues breaking my heart, I'm afraid he'll break me completely. What's even more terrifying - I don't have the slightest clue has he ever had any feelings for me... before?

I wished to know. I wanted to know if he could ever love me as I wanted him to. If he could ever apologize, say he's sorry and kiss my tears away... Did he love Kikyou? If he did... Somehow I think he did, I would really like to know more than anything else how would it feel being loved by Inuyasha... in that way?

But my wishes made me feel stupid and my tears fell faster than before. My family surely missed me and I have no way of telling them I'm fine and not to worry. All because of Inuyasha. How was he able to hurt me so? Those wounds on my neck felt more like they were made upon my heart, and now I had to bite my hand to quiet down my sobs. And I knew already this was going to be just one of the many nights I would fell asleep like this... Crying.

Because...

What do you do when you feel, and more to it - you know that your heart is slowly breaking?

You cry...

And cry...

And cry some more...

**Again.**

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Later, in the middle of the night with no one awake to witness and warn, one little precious thing, not fully repaired glowed in the darkness of the hut with a pinkish color, shedding the light on the persons face whose request it has fulfilled..

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_"I thought I saw a man brought to life_

_He was warm, he came around like he was dignified"

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**AN:** _OK.... not so much of a cliffhanger, right? I mean... you can guess what will be in the next chapter?_

_Right?_

_Oh, and please do forgive me for making this chapter sound so 'light', I'm not even sure that's the right word to use. If you have any ideas - feel free to tell. Update will be as soon as I can, probably by the end of the week, as well as my Sailor Moon fic, for any of you who might have read that and are now reading this._

_Thanks for the attention!_

_Anisa_


	3. Puzzle undone

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

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**"Torn"**

**By Chiisana Anisa**

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**"Puzzle undone"

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She woke up.

The sense of dis-orientation awake within her and her sight swayed for some time. The room circled around her and the first signs of headache began forming. The air around her seemed different, heavy and hard-weighted to breathe in, it burned her throat to do so, also it glued to every part of her body.

The feeling of warmness swept her over, in crushing waves and she had a rapid thought of skinning herself to make it go away. At first she did thought she just felt warm from the sleeping and besides, Shippou did bring a lot of added warmness to her sleeping bag. But no, this kind of warmness couldn't come just from that, it was too strange and too intense. And then all of a sudden everything went away, disappeared in a flash.

She sat up in her bedding, her hand searching for Shippou when she felt surprised he wasn't by her side anymore. The only locigal thing was to think he got up earlier, although that was peculiar for Shippou, who slept most of the time due to his age.

She neglected the worry that began to form inside of her, instead she got up. Her movements were slow, like they always were in the mornings and she still felt drowsy. As if she didn't get enough sleep. Turning around, expecting to find Sango and Miroku still in the hut, her eyes settled over the places they were supposed to be. But it was nothing there.

Not even their sleeping bags. Now, that was more than odd, and she wondered if they all got up and left her to sleep longer due to the whole thing between her and Inuyasha. She didn't know why exactly, but on some hidden level of her conscience she was glad they did. Stretching out her arms she yawned, gladly. Her eyes drifted to the doors and they almost bulged out at the sight that greeted her.

The doors were open and she could see outside which was very rare, considering they always shut the covering, day or night - didn't matter. Now all she could observe were the village people running around, doing their daily errands. There went a woman carrying the milk, a man with chopped woods... She rubbed her eyes and slowly went out of the hut, not even minding that she didn't feel as free as she usually did in moving, not looking or noticing what she was wearing.

Stepping outside she walked steadily towards the path that lead to the stream near by, to do her daily routine of washing up. At first she neglected the weird stares she was receiving from those few people near her, but she stopped when one woman bowed slightly to her and then went on.

What was that about? And most importantly where were the others?

Some more people did as the previous woman did, bowing to her and although it did seem rather odd, that behaviour to her she didn't quite put her mind into it to discuss with herself why. Instead she walked on to the stream. But upon arriving there she opened her eyes wide, gaping at he sight of... no stream.

Blinking she thought she must of have gone to the wrong side of the village until she noticed the familiar prickling to her miko senses. It was a warning, but a welcoming one she always had when Inuyasha was near. Well, at least she knew he was around. Not close, but close enough so that she could sense him.

That joy in her died soon after when she remembered the problems occurring between them.. And the tears started forming again in the corners of her sleepy eyes. Shutting them she turned around and walked back to the village, forgetting all about the stream and her intentions.

All of a sudden, one of the women from the village grabbed her hand and pulled her. "Come, come, Miko-sama... you must get ready!" The woman exclaimed while Kagome kept looking at her completely puzzled. All that came to her mind was _'What the hell?'._

"Wait, where are you taking me...?"

"Come, come, Asuke will get you back. You can trust me, but hurry, you need to get prepared. Come."

Kagome felt nerved at hearing the word _'come' _so many times in a row. What is this woman thinking... But she let herself be lead back and soon enough she found herself sitting on her bedding again. This time she didn't seem anyone from her group again and quietly she wondered where was Kaede too. Hearing the shuffling of the covering on the doors she raised her head, her eyes meeting with another set of eyes, colored in a dark brown.

There was a woman standing at the entrance, looking at her in wonder. She didn't recognize her, who wore traditional village robes, she guessed her age could be over thirty, because of some grey hair in the midst of her natural brown. The woman moved, composing herself and set the tray she was holding in her hands, which Kagome noticed had food on it, beside her bed.

"The elders expect you to come after your breakfast, Miko-sama." The woman stated and with a turn exited the hut.

Kagome remained in the spot, her hands still in the air and blinked. Then again. Did that woman just call her Miko-sama? A Priestess? And the elders? Where was Kaede, and the others?

Shaking herself out of the stupor the unknown woman brought with her visit, Kagome sat down and began eating. Well, at least the food didn't taste differently. But her moment of peace didn't last long when a girl bursted through the doors and latched herself at Kagome, hugging the life out of her.

"Today you'll become our village priestess! I'm so excited, aren't you?!" The girl squealed and Kagome winced at the sound. Soon after another woman entered and looked at them. Kagome noted this woman had great aura of power around herself, but looked at her and the girl with disgust. Wondering why she looked down at the girl and only then saw which set of clothes did she have on.

Miko robes. The exact ones Kikyou wears, or wore... The pants, the shirt... everything was the same to the very detail. The question raising in her throat died when she heard the next words the woman said.

"Kaede, I told you already to leave your sister to prepare in peace. Lets go. Kikyou-sama, I hope the test will go well."

And at that point Kagome found herself sitting in the hut, realizing that the woman did indeed spoke to her, called her Kikyou's name. She tore from the little girl's embrace and bolted out of the hut, not really watching where she was going, her legs carrying her in a hurry to the whatever spot where she could find peace.

The tears already slightly rolling down her face, smudging her vision and too many questions hazing her mind she didn't even notice the bolder in front of her. She met the ground hard, her body falling down in a slow motion as if meeting her reason of mind. She didn't get up.

Instead she lied there, not moving, letting the emotions overflow her senses, letting the tears to fall like rain, washing her face and dropping to the ground beneath her. What was happening?

Forcing herself to raise her head she spotted a small lake nearby and with shaky steps, stumbling got to it. She leaned over it, extending a hand to grab some water to wash her face when she froze. Everything around her seemed to quiet down when the whole place rang off from the scream that came from her lips the very next moment. She screamed like she wouldn't have another opportunity to do so, and cried anew. Her hand till then frozen in air, dropped beside her like you would drop a ragged doll.

Staring dully at the image the surface of the lake presented her she didn't feel a thing. Numbness threatened to overtake, to ate her away while she stared and stared. The image showed her the face of a woman she never wanted to wear and yet she is now. Dark, ebony hair, tied neatly in a perfect priestess way, sliced brown-grey eyes looking back...

'_This isn't real!!' _her mind screamed at her from the inside. People ran to her and she didn't hear what they were yelling until they got close enough and what she heard made the blood in her veins froze all over again.

"Kikyou-sama!! Kikyou-sama! Are you all right?...."

The air seemed heavy again as she breathed in hard, her chest rising up and down with the unsteady breaths she was taking. Then as if someone turned on the light in her brain the picture cleared for her. Her eyes opened in wonder and her thoughts of previous night revealed the whole puzzle of this morning to her.

Her wish, her request made just like that... The Shikon no Tama fulfilled it... And now...

Now..

She is... **Kikyou.

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_He showed me what it was to cry_

_Well you couldn't be that man I adored_

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AN: _I'm so so sorry for making you guys wait for so long. And I'm once again sorry for making it short again, but I didn't want to make you wait, instead I wrote this chapter to explain a bit and show what happened. There are things in this chapter that should reveal some happenings in the few next ones, if you read carefully._

_Anyway, I'm in the middle of my graduation tests and that is the reason why I didn't update when I said or wrote this small amount of the story. Hopefully you liked it and you don't mind it all that much. I'll update as soon as I can, promise._

_Review! Tell me what you think. I love getting your opinions!_

_Love,_

_Anisa_


	4. A Meeting with Fate

**Disclaimer: **_The answer is still sadly, no. _

_**NOTICE: **A very long AN at the end of the chapter. Please read I want your opinion!!_

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**"Torn"**

**By Chiisana Anisa**

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**"A Meeting with Fate"**

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The rest of the day after the painful realization passed in a dulled manner, deleting any sane thoughts from her mind, time just fleeting her by and she was left surprised when she woke up, here again the very next day. Another morning she had to go through in this crazy situation in which she found herself by her mistake only.

The aforementioned test was canceled and rescheduled for the next week, everyone worried by her strange behavior. Kaede, the kid, specially pampered her, running around and desperately seeking to help in any way for the rest of the past evening.

Kagome sighed, the morning sun already warm on her skin and deciding she wasn't capable of being in this little forsaken hut anymore went out for a walk. Soon enough she found herself in the middle of a little secluded meadow, basked in the sun with the grass high enough to reach her knees, surrounded by the large and tall trees. Neatly folding the kimono she sat down on the grass on the top of the hill overlooking the village.

Her thoughts once again turned to Kikyou, herself and all this mess. Utter solitude washed over all of her other emotions and before she knew it her hand shoot up to the necklace with the Shikon no Tama. However her hand didn't find what it was looking for and Kagome was forced to remind her own mind that Shikon no Tama was still whole in this time.

Remembering that, another thing began bothering her already busy brain. Didn't she sense Inuyasha just yesterday? She could sworn she did, she knew all too well the feeling his aura gave to her body.

As if hearing her thoughts trees hummed in the quietness that surrounded her petite form till now. Kagome spun around looking pointedly at one place before one red figure appeared from the bushes. She got up and stood ready to give in and jump into his arms.

But she didn't. She merely kept standing there, transfixed by his appearance. Inuyasha looked so differently. Not even like the first time she met him - then he was full of anger and a bitter man. Now he looked hopelessly lost and above all sad, as far she could tell.

There wasn't that familiar sparkle of fire in his eyes, instead they looked dull and lifeless. His clothes clung to him more than usual and his silver mane didn't shine whatsoever. The biggest give away he wasn't himself were his ears, which were slumped down, barely moving to catch the sounds around them.

Kagome felt intense pain clutch at her heart for seeing him so, tears at the verge of her eyes. She took one step forward, little fists clenching beside her slim body but as soon as she heard him growl at her she stopped. _Why in the heaven's name came over him? It was her_, she thought. Then she realized - no, it wasn't her anymore, she is Kikyou now. And this would be only the beginning, for this was Inuyasha she didn't know at all.

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Inuyasha was still standing at the same place, a breath away from the bushes that hid him moments ago, ready to flee if needed, rigid. He was perplexed by the miko's posture, but he kept his mind on the main thing.

"Woman..." he spoke growling, "Give me the Shikon no Tama. Now!", he spit out, angered. In the past few seconds of his observation of her he noticed little changes in her that didn't walk with him at all. He could sworn he saw a sign of tears in her eyes. What was that? For whom? Him?

The thought alone nerved him because he didn't like anyone's pity, less then that needed it. He was fine like he is, alone. Maybe disappointed in the world altogether, but fine. And he will get what he came for.

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Kagome didn't believe her ears, she thought she must have miss-heard him. But she should've known, he wanted the Shikon no Tama, he was after it from the very beginning. Although the thought made her head spin, she opened her mouth to speak and experienced a terrible sensation running through her entire being. Blinking once, she wished for it to go away, no matter how short it was, it left a bitter, metallic taste in her mouth.

It didn't. Now when she blinked and reopened her eyes it seemed she was looking at Inyuasha through the eyes of another and this time when she did speak the voice wasn't hers.

"Why should I hand it over to a filthy half-breed?" The words disgusted her, for she didn't think of Inuyasha as such. It wasn't long before she figured it out that Kikoyu was speaking on her own accord, but was left wondering how that was possible. The question rose in her and she kept asking if it would be like this everytime she saw him or just now?

"Either you give it to me willingly or I'll take it by force, Miko." Inuyasha demanded.

"As if you could." She replied and out of nowhere a bow and a set of arrows appeared in her hands and she stretched the bow after placing the arrow, ready to shoot.

Inuyasha smirked at her evilly. "We should see about that wench." And he lunged to attack but it never followed through. Instead he just continued his jump in the air on the nearest tree, his red figure disappearing among all of its thick branches.

The minute he was gone, Kagome felt that unknown felling fleeting from her body, vanishing like smoke into thin air, and she felt like herself again, as much as that was possible. Two men from the village soon reached her standing place.

She figured they were probably the reason for such hasty retreat of Inuyasha, while one of them spoke to her.

"Everything all right, Kikyou-sama?"

Kagome nodded slowly, almost answering no to the man, and lowered her bow. "I sensed a demon near by, but it left the other way. No need to worry." She lied through her teeth, hoping they bought it.

The other man, the older one, smiled radiantly. "As if we could with you around." They bought it all right, and left.

The moment they were out of her sight, she closed her eyes tight enough to feel the slightest tremor of pain, the bow falling out of her hands unused in the tall grass that acted as a blanket for the cold ground she stood on. She took one deep, deep breath, seeking calmness but the motion did no good to her nerves for she could sense two solitary tears making their way down her face, escaping through the curtain of her thick black lashes.

As before, thoughts of desperation and utter loneliness assaulted her heavily, attacked to numb her senses completely and she raised her hands to cover her face stricken by tears in hope that would accomplish something. She felt unbelievably weak and ready to faint.

Out of nowhere, fresh traces of Inuyasha's aura reappeared and the fear of him discovering her in such state overtook her mind. She didn't want Inuyasha to suspect anything, from fear that even the smallest act could change the past future.

Gingerly with great effort she collected her thoughts and picked up the weapon of her defense, taking back the path to the village, questions of what to do pressing hard on her mind.

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If Kagome had only known that she was right about Inuyasha she would've maybe acted differently. Not so far from their meeting place he hid in a tree, on it's highest branch to observe her actions. He saw clearly how she easily dropped the bow, not something the priestess usually, actually ever did.

Further more, his nose told him something that stunned his senses for it picked up the scent of salt and as he didn't smell food near, it could only mean one. The great guardian of the Shikon no Tama, the cold Kikyou was crying.

Intrigued about what made the cold miko cry he stayed even longer, and after her departure he remained hidden in the tree, left alone to ponder. Kikyou was well known by her icy demeanor and the fact she openly hated youkai's because of her duty.

What brought this unusual change in her behavior was something worth finding out if he could use it to his own advantage. Any possible thoughts of abandoning his cause left on a breeze while his eyes heatedly observed the small village that was hiding the one thing he needed more than anything else.

And Kami's help him - the Shikon no Tama will be his. No matter what the price.

No matter at all.

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_You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for_

_But I don't know him anymore_

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**AN: **_I know I'm writing about Kagome taking Kikyou's place, thus herself being Kikyou, but let me tell, or ask you this:_

_Am I the only one who notices the over-used plots like this - Kagome and Inuyasha have a fight, she runs; he runs into Kikyou and they sort of pledge their love to each other. Kagome hears them, runs away again, and while she's doing that Inuyasha out of the blue realizes that he loves Kagome and leaves Kikyou in search for Kagome to tell her how he really feels._

_I don't know for you guys, but only the mention of Kikyou's name makes me bang my head against the wall. BUT this plot - God help me if I ever get some weapon in my hands because I'll shoot myself at first given opportunity to read that kind of a plot again!!! And I'm not kidding, either._

_And NO, I'm not suicidal either. But this kind of a thing is really too much put on the pages of Call me an idiot, Kikyou as I'm sure gets on the nerves of one hell of lot people. Such as mine. Pardon the pun, when writing this story._

_And I won't even start on someone's sick idea of Kagome and Shippou being together as a pair. Who ever started that seriously needs to get his head examined._

_Ok, enough. Sorry for the crazy talk but I had to tell someone and you guys and girls are the only ones who would understand. I hope._

_**A thank you note from the heart for all of you who reviewed to this point. It means a lot me knowing at least somebody reads this.**_

_Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter although it came out more than due of what I said. The next one will be updated faster. And sorry of those silly markings. This crazy site gives me no other possibility to divide my paragrahs._

_Review please!_

_Chiisana Anisa_


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